


Witness

by walkwithursus



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Internal Conflict, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:33:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24302179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkwithursus/pseuds/walkwithursus
Summary: Nandor unwittingly stumbles across Guillermo during an intimate moment.
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 429





	Witness

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the many cameos where Kayvan discusses Nandor spying on Guillermo while masturbating. Please check the tags before reading!

Nandor couldn’t sleep. 

He didn’t know what time it was, only that it was daylight, and that he had been lying awake in his coffin for what felt like hours. Of course, that didn’t mean much, considering time had lost all meaning for him around the turn of the 15th century, but the point remained; he couldn’t sleep, and it was probably time he did something about it. A little mid-morning snack from the cell was certain to make him drowsy, and Nandor had been saving a victim in there for just such an occasion as this. 

Carefully, Nandor cracked the lid of his coffin. His bedroom was pitch black, not a sunbeam in sight, and so he opened it the rest of the way and climbed out. It felt good to stretch after so long without moving. His 750 year old joints popped as he lifted his arms and turned from side to side, loosening but not completely ridding the stiffness that plagued his ancient body. At the door he paused, poking his head out and checking for any visible shafts of sunlight before venturing out into the hallway. 

The house was eerily silent at this time of day. Nadja and Laszlo were likely asleep in their chambers, while Colin Robinson was out doing whatever it was he did that kept him away for forty hours a week. Even Guillermo seemed to be absent, running errands or tending to chores outside in the daylight. Thinking himself very much alone, Nandor continued down the silent hall toward the locked room where last night’s meal was waiting to be finished, his fangs elongating ever so slightly with anticipation at the thought.

A noise reached him just as he was passing under the double staircase — a sharp intake of breath followed by a quiet rustling. Nandor cocked his head to one side and listened, easily picking up the rhythm of the one beating heart in the house. Guillermo was home after all, though something seemed off about his presence. His heart was beating very fast, practically a gallop in Nandor’s ears, and he was breathing heavily the way he did after running up all three flights of stairs. 

Nandor frowned. Judging by the direction the sounds were coming from, Guillermo was in his bedroom. If that were the case, and Guillermo had not just exerted himself doing chores, it was possible he was having a nightmare. The proper thing to do in that situation was to wake him up, of course. Not out of concern for his peace of mind, but for his energy levels. Nandor knew from experience how useless Guillermo was as a familiar when he was sleep deprived, and would sooner avoid dealing with him if he didn't get at least a full four hours.

Congratulating himself on his own backwards brand of benevolence, Nandor crept quietly over to Guillermo’s closet bedroom and stopped. He didn’t want to startle Guillermo awake by barging in, and so he lingered outside the doorway and peeked through the gap in the curtain.

To Nandor’s surprise, Guillermo was not asleep, but lying awake on his bed with his laptop computer machine open on his chest. His glasses were slung low on the bridge of his nose, and the lenses reflected the flickering light and movement from the screen. The little white strings Guillermo called ‘headphones’ were currently dangling from his ears, apparently delivering the sound directly to him while leaving the rest of the room quiet. 

These things Nandor noticed only in passing, as his eyes were quickly drawn from Guillermo’s face to his lap. Though covered by the blanket, the movements beneath were rhythmic and distinct, and Nandor froze as recognition hit him like a ton of bricks. The heavy breathing, the rustling he had heard, the heavy _thump-thump-thump_ of his heart...

Guillermo — awkward, bashful, innocent little Guillermo — was pleasuring himself only feet away from where Nandor was standing hidden behind the curtain. 

Nandor’s jaw dropped. He had always considered Guillermo repressed to the point of frigidity, so to see him like this, flushed, disheveled, and undeniably aroused, was a shock to the system. Whatever was showing on that laptop computer screen had apparently corrupted Guillermo's good and virtuous nature, and Nandor was having a hard time getting to grips with it.

It had to be pornography Guillermo was watching. The internet variety to be exact. Nandor was vaguely aware of its existence, having been forced to sit through a few of Laszlo’s films back in the day, though he’d never viewed any himself. The thought opened up a number of questions Nandor had never considered before, and he found himself wishing he could see the screen now to determine which of his budding theories were true. 

Was all digital pornography vampire themed, or were those just the ones Laszlo had starred in? Would Guillermo watch vampire pornography, if it existed on the internet? Did vampires get Guillermo off? Would _Nandor_ get Guillermo off? Guillermo certainly seemed to appreciate that one fictional vampire from that one interview-film, and Nandor was not completely oblivious to the similarity between their two appearances... 

A strangled moan tore its way out of Guillermo’s throat, issuing a shocking bolt of heat straight to Nandor's loins. Nandor dragged his eyes from Guillermo’s lap long enough to watch him clamp a hand over his mouth, muffling the noises that he couldn’t quite tamp down. Guillermo's round cheeks were flushed pink under his plump fingers, the blood beating hot and fast just beneath the surface. Nandor felt his throat constrict unwillingly with thirst, and he slid his gaze back down to the relative safety of Guillermo's groin, mesmerized by the stroking motion hidden just out of sight. Unbidden, Nandor found himself wishing Guillermo would rip the blanket off his lap, exposing his body for Nandor’s eyes to feast upon, and stopped short. 

Why should he be wishing that? Why was he even watching this at all? More importantly, why couldn’t he _stop?_

Fascination kept him rooted to the spot, though Nandor experienced a prickle of shame as he realized the curtain that normally hung open in Guillermo’s doorway had likely been drawn shut for privacy, and that he was violating exactly that by pressing his eye against the gap. Though, it wasn't as if he had deliberately sought Guillermo out just now. Nandor had come to check on him as a courtesy! How was he to have known that his familiar was prone to such lecherous acts during daylight hours? If anything, Guillermo was the one to blame, drawing Nandor in with his muffled moans and fast beating heart. 

The pace of Guillermo’s fist under the blanket was increasing, maintaining Nandor's captive attention as short, labored breaths whistled in and out of his nose. The toes of Guillermo's little woolen socks were sticking out from underneath the blanket, and Nandor watched as they curled and uncurled as he apparently neared completion.

Guillermo was going to come. Nandor attempted to tear his eyes away, to force his feet to move, but he was frozen in suspense, awaiting the moment as eagerly as if the climax were his own. If he’d had a beating heart, Nandor was certain it would have been thundering by now, as every fiber of his being tensed with fraught anticipation. 

Guillermo released his loudest gasp yet, and Nandor nearly put his fist through the wall. Seconds later, Guillermo threw off the blanket, rucked up his sweater, and came onto his own stomach, his deliciously soft belly clenching repeatedly as thick, white drops of come puddled on his skin. 

Nandor was overwhelmed. Arousal throbbed in his core, radiating outward in warm, tingling waves. Oh, this was bad. This was very bad. Nandor wanted nothing more than to take himself in hand, to stroke himself off to the sight of his familiar panting and shaking as his orgasm slowly subsided. With great difficulty Nandor restrained himself, though he was fairly sure he heard a faint crack in the foundation as his grip on the nearest wooden beam tightened impossibly further. 

Guillermo fumbled for a tissue from his bedside table and began mopping up the mess. Nandor licked his lips, lamenting the waste. He would have liked to clean Guillermo with his tongue, dragging it across his soft stomach and lapping the last remnants from his still-hard cock, careful so as not to graze him with his teeth. 

It was much too late for that now, which was probably — no, _definitely_ for the best. There were so many risks involved when taking a human lover. A man like Guillermo would be pleasurably warm and soft, yes, but breakable. One tiny lapse in control and he was no longer a mate but a meal. Not to mention Guillermo was Nandor’s familiar, and that making love to him would only do further damage to a line that had already become intolerably blurred over the years. 

No, Nandor probably shouldn’t have just watched that, and he certainly shouldn’t have enjoyed it.

Guillermo removed his headphone strings and set his laptop machine aside. Nandor shrank back further into the shadows, careful to keep Guillermo in his line of sight through the gap in the curtain. Guillermo’s cheeks were still deliciously pink, his curly brown hair ever so slightly sweat-damp around the hairline. Nandor watched as he removed his glasses and set them on the nearest surface before pulling the blanket over himself and snuggling down. Seconds passed, or maybe minutes, and Guillermo began to snore.

Nandor’s chest burned as he gazed upon Guillermo’s slack features. A new desire was stirring within him, no longer sexual but just as intimate. How gratifying would it be to crawl into bed beside his familiar and hold him? He had an inkling Guillermo would accept him, too, shyly welcoming Nandor into his arms. The thought was deeply unnerving, and Nandor turned to leave before he could dwell on it any further.

Nandor retreated to his coffin in a fog. His skull felt heavy, his thoughts more sluggish and ill-defined than usual. Lying down in the dark brought a small amount of comfort, but not nearly enough to chase away the anxiety that clawed at his insides.

What he’d witnessed just now had complicated things. A lot. 

From the moment he’d first met Guillermo, Nandor had known he’d wanted to eat him. Not just eat him, but _devour_ him, savoring his flavor to the very last drop. Virgins of his caliber were difficult to come by, and made for a succulent meal. Nandor had held off once he’d realized Guillermo’s value to him was far greater as a familiar, and he’d been glad he’d done so. Guillermo was good at what he did. At the least, he tried very hard, which was more than Nandor could say of other familiars he’d encountered. 

It was only later that Nandor realized he’d come to tolerate Guillermo as a constant presence in his life, if not as a friend. And as his hunger for his familiar’s blood subsided, his desire for Guillermo’s companionship had risen in its place. Boundaries had been crossed, lines had been redrawn, and then redrawn again, with Guillermo managing to sneak a little closer every time. Two steps forward, one step back. For two — no, _ten_ years now. 

And in that time, Guillermo had gotten far too close. The line would need redrawing now, after what Nandor had just seen, further back than ever before. For Guillermo's own safety, and for the sanctity of their agreement. Friendship and desire had no part in a relationship such as theirs, transactional by nature and companionable via convenience. Perhaps one day, when his familiar had gained immortality, they could revisit such things. But for now, Nandor was determined to put them firmly out of mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments greatly appreciated.


End file.
